Barsha Guha
7 min readApr 13, 2021

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My Uncle with his sister. This picture dates back to 1985/86

He looked at me and said “Barsha time is sweeter than honey” – That’s my uncle with whom I used to converse everyday once I got back from my bike expedition.

Due to the pandemic I got the opportunity to work from home and spend time with my family.

He used to enquire about my whereabouts – the things I am learning at my workplace and progress that I am making in my personal life.

We spoke about marriage, environment and the well being of the family.

At times he used to talk about his research work.

My uncle has been an achiever… He completed his graduation in chemical engineering and received scholarships for his higher studies. He completed his post doctoral in Queensland university in environmental engineering and he was a champion in the court.

At Queensland University — He completed his thesis on subject of environmental engineering and became Dr. Lokaranjan Guha :)

He was lovingly called Ranjan and has won many accolades in lawn tennis and table tennis.

With his accolades and celebrating his wins. The picture was taken way back in 1990 :)

He used to narrate his stories and achievements to me . I could feel the sense of pride , happiness and the sense of satisfaction throughout his narration.

One of the glimpses of his fond memories :)

Every single day he used to wake up by 6:30 am and get started with his research work. I would see an array of books spread across the bed – From Physics to Vedic literature… And the books are arranged according to his need and one could find bookmarks tagged and sequenced – He was an Organized Man with a sharp memory…

A couple of weeks back he suffered a massive heart attack. My father along with his eldest brother got him admitted to the hospital.

The left side of his body was paralyzed and other organs got impacted.

This was a shock to our family ! Prior to this he has never been hospitalized.. Always seen him as a strong man – both physically and mentally.

I used to go and visit him to the hospital. He was in the Intensive Care Unit. The first sight of his – Resting on the inclined bed. A food pipe wrapped around the nose… He was wearing a blue uniform. I went towards him silently and touched his head. He lifted his eyes.. He seemed a little dazed .. He recognized me.. He attempted to talk…

His speech was not clear but could figure out with a bit more concentration…

He wanted to drink water. He raised his finger and pointed towards the table near his bed . There was a funnel and using that the water was fed.

I took the half filled funnel and tried to feed him but he started coughing. I got scared. The nurse and doctor came rushing and patted my uncle’s back. He recovered.

I took a moment and stepped outside.. It was difficult for me… I felt heavy.. I just walked outside had a tender coconut to calm myself and returned home…

In my subsequent visits he stressed that he wants to drink water from glass and not from the funnel. I said “Bado Kaka calm down. Meditate. Conserve your energy”

I used to put my hand over his forehead and used to tell him “ Your research is not yet over! Many things to do…”

There was a glass tumbler beside his bed. I took it and filled half of it with water. I placed it near his mouth and gradually tilted… He looked at me and he drank bit by bit….

That was a victory indeed! We just smiled at each other and celebrated🙂

When I used to pat his head and tell him “Bado Kaka Meditate! Try to curb down your agitation…” He used to look at me and Chuckle….

After a week or so my uncle was moved from intensive care to the general ward. His condition was improving . The WBCs count were stabilizing although it was high from the normal range.

Before he was moved to the general ward I went to visit him as usual. With his feeble voice he asked me to get a paper and pen.

I fetched . He attempted to write but it was all jumbled up… One letter over the other. He struggled! I told him “Bado kaka I will write it down for you. You give me the Narration!”

The content was as follows:

“I want the water to be fed by glass tumbler instead of the funnel!

I want to have Batasha(aerated sugar confections).

The quantity of water fed to be increased.

More fluids to be included in the regular diet.

I also want to have chocolates and I want my cellphone back!”

While reading this you might feel how trivial the asks were but to him these were of utmost importance.

I re-read to him and he just managed to sign the paper.

I went up to the doctor and discussed all the above pointers. He smiled and said “Fine! You can get these things for your uncle.” As for the water he said that my uncle cannot be fed more water than his prescribed level.

Next day I got back and carried with myself a small box of Batasha.

He saw me . One of his school friends had come to visit him. He waited there for five minutes and left. He saw me placing the box of Batasha on the table. He looked at me and said “I want to have Batasha!”

One thing to be kept in mind that he was still being fed through the food pipe.

The sister was not around and I took the opportunity and broke a tiny fragment of the Batasha.

His bed was in an inclined position. I went ahead and placed the fragment over his tongue and he savored!

He indicated me to bring water. I got the tumbler and slowly he drank.

The strength that he showed and the level of consciousness… I was amazed!

The food pipe was still there wrapped around his nose… But he tried … He conquered….

In my successive visits we followed the same process… A small fragment of Batasha and water… Without the food pipe and water funnel…

After two weeks of hospitalization he was discharged. His condition improved and was happy to get back home.

I came down to visit him and saw his physiotherapist working along with him. He was lifting his left hand and stretching it.

I stood there and thought to myself… Just a month back he was absolutely fine. Moving about and doing his work without any aid and now lifting his hand up is a challenge for him… This rapid transition is something I have never witnessed before. A big fight lay ahead for my uncle is what I felt.

In the evening of the same day I went to my Uncle’s room.. He was a little agitated. He said with his muffled speech “ Coconut water”.

I went towards the lady attendant who was looking after my uncle. She informed that he just had tender coconut few minutes ago and no more to be given..

I tried to explain him.. He was not happy. He wanted to listen to some music so I played for him…Still he was restless. After some time he was calm again.

Two days after my visit I got a call around 2:30am and my mom conveyed that he passed away !

I heard and laid on the bed. Tears flowed down. The memories , the incidents surfaced like a story. It was painful.

Few months back my uncle shared this memory with me. Goes back to our childhood days. That’s my brother and uncle at the backdrop.

I went back to my parents’ place and around 11am my uncle came inside a carriage wrapped in white clothing. I glanced at him. There was a strange silence that engulfed me.. Our relatives and my uncle’s friends had come down to pay condolences. They we’re talking .. But somehow I felt aloof from the surroundings. I went to the cremation ground and laid him over a bamboo structure. He was placed on a stretcher and we had to lift him to lay him on the bamboo bed. I lifted his head and it was cold.. I glanced at his face.. That moment was difficult for me… I tried to calm myself down but I could feel the fluctuations.

My uncle didn’t had his own children. To him I was like his daughter. I was asked to perform the final rites… That was his wish. I did!

I have never been to the cremation ground before. After all the rituals were performed uncle’s bed was prepared to be entered into the fire chamber. The gates of the electric furnace opened and the sparks of fire emitting out of it resembled the glittering sparks of gold. He entered and the door shut!

I was absolutely blank at that point of time! I saw few of my relatives crying. My father cried as well. I felt aloof from the surrounding environment. I don’t know why but I felt this..

After an hour or so we went near the furnace and one of the attendants came and on an earthen plate put the remains of my uncle.

I got scared and my hand trembled holding the earthen saucer. There were fumes all over and you could hear the chants of the people “Hari Bol!”

We came out of the cremation ground… The last glance which I had of my uncle – His words echoed in my ears – “Time is sweeter than honey !”

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