Recently I had an argument with my partner where I wanted to go for a drive and he didn’t want to. I had my reasons and so did he. There was a spontaneous chain of reactions going on between us. The conversation didn’t end well and somewhere we both were a little exhausted.
That incident got me thinking again as to what are my emotions like when I face a conflict. When somebody (be it from your close circle or distant) questions your thought process generally the instant reaction is to safeguard or defend yourself.
Instead if we chose to pause for a moment and reflect — How different the results would be?
Let’s take an example to illustrate the above situation.
Few days back one of my close associates came up to me after reading my first draft of the article on scooter riding and said “Barsha I feel that your article lacks flow.”
This time I didn’t react. I took a moment and tried to understand why the person said so? To evaluate I asked “ Can you tell me where you felt the disconnect? I would love to know your thoughts.”
Now the conversation got intersting. The person pointed out certain sections of the story which he felt needs improvement. I listened and made certain changes which improved the content.
Let’s take another example.
The incident took place 2 years back when I was making a transition in my career. I was working for a multi national company then and decided to explore further and got through a startup providing consulting services.
Before joining the firm I was having certain thoughts in my mind and wanted to talk it out. I called one of my friends and explained the situation. The instant reaction that I got “Are you kidding me Barsha. Why do you want to make the transition ?”
I probed further and asked “ What’s wrong? What makes you feel that I am being irrational ?”
My friend replied “ Do you have any clue as to how a startup functions? You have no background in consulting.”
After that statement the conversation didn’t proceed further. It was more of a monologue.
I said in my mind “ I don’t give a FUCK to what you say !”. The conversation ended and just two weeks later I joined the startup!
Situations like these tell us a lot about the other person involved and at times the revelations are really interesting!
Thank you for reading. Do share your thoughts/comments….
